Ladies, have you ever been out and about just doing your thang and had a man say something to you that was totally unsolicited? Did it absolutely infuriate you?
There is a woman in Minneapolis who started a campaign called Cards Against Harassment, and she bravely confronts the men who harass her on the street and (if she feels safe) engages in an open dialogue with them about why they said what they said. It is scary that most of these men feel like they are giving a compliment to a woman and in no way shape or form view it as harassment.
Now, I can't claim that my experiences are totally similar to this woman's. She has to walk through very urban environments to get to work, whereas I drive to work in the comfort of my own car and avoid contact with people on the street. My personal experiences with harassment have actually occurred in my own neighborhood, Buckhead, which is known for its upscale stores (which we can't afford) and multi-million dollar mansions (which we really can't afford), and not necessarily street harassment.
1. When I go for a run, all that I am focused on is hurling my sweaty, post-college beer-body down the road one step at a time without keeling over and dying on the sidewalk. Honks from passing cars and strange men rubbernecking out of their windows is not even on my priority list. I kid you not, a boy no older than 14 was riding around with his friends and yelled some unwanted comments at me as I ran past the effing Georgia Governor's Mansion on West Paces. Kid, I know you think that your sh*t doesn't stink because your parents shell out $20K+ per year to send you to a Buckhead private school, but perhaps the three of you need to sit down and have a chat about how harassing women who are almost twice your age as they run down the street is completely inappropriate. If I had reacted faster and gotten the license plate number then I probably would have contacted that kid's school and turned him in. Hell, when we were in high school our headmaster would get calls from concerned citizens if they saw girls smoking in their uniforms after school, so I think harassing women is definitely worthy of a phone call. You better believe my future sons will get a lecture about respecting women.
2. While in Nashville this past weekend, my friend Caroline and I were out for a long walk, enjoying the beautiful weather and taking in the different neighborhoods of Nashville. All of a sudden, here comes a party limo filled to the brim with guys and girls who are already wasted at 11:30 am. I thought to myself, "That looks fun! I bet they are out celebrating a birthday and having a good time!" As the limo got closer, however, the frat boys started catcalling and told me to shake my booty. Excuse me? Are you serious right now? From afar you looked like a group of people that could have easily been me and my friends. Up close? You are terrible human beings and I feel sorry for your future daughters. I really hope that the girls in the limo let the guys have it, because if I was around my guy friends and they said something like that to a stranger then they would have felt my wrath.
3. One evening after work I decided to go for a long walk and call my grandmother to catch up. It was pretty cool that evening, and since I wasn't running I didn't really break a sweat on my leisurely 45-minute stroll through Buckhead. Upon my return to our condo building, I was joined on the elevator by two men I had never seen before and who had clearly just had a cocktail or six at King and Duke next door. The larger man looked at me and said, "We working out?" (Um, no. I just went for a walk, you just walked home from the bar.) I told him that I had been out for a walk, and he proceeded to belittle me and say that I accomplished nothing because I did not work up a sweat. I fibbed a little and told him that I had just had ACL surgery to make him feel bad (it was 2 years ago), and he busted out his little violin motion just for me. He got off the elevator a few floors before me and I felt like I had just been slapped in the face. How did he just make me feel bad for going out and walking for 45 minutes? I exercise multiple times a week and play on a coed soccer team, and this guy has the nerve to tell me that I am a lazy sack of sh*t? Oh hell no! Would he have said those things to me if my husband had been on the elevator with me? Probably not, because he is a coward and likes to belittle women to make himself feel high and mighty. What a catch!
As women, we have to always be aware of our surroundings. Depending on the situation and your level of comfort, I think some of the tips above on how to stop street harassment are effective ways to let the offenders know that their behavior is not OK. My personal experiences have definitely allowed me to find my voice, and I will be sticking up for myself from here on out.
PS - To the people who may read this and think, "Wow, this girl needs to relax and not act so crazy about a few "joking" words or gestures" - How would you feel if your "private" encounter was recorded and then shown to your family, friends, employer, etc.? Not so tough anymore, are you?
